martes, 21 de mayo de 2013

Sometimes it's hard to love the life you live.

It's hard to look back on an adventure and feel how life goes by while you inadvertently wait, for something to change or happen, or maybe a signal, or even a miracle. Let me start again. Hi, I'm going to tell you something I realized last year. It isn't that exciting or hard to figure out, but I feel like this sort of discovery made me reevaluate what I want for myself, as a human, a soul, an insignificant piece of matter in an infinite universe.
Most people grow up being told they need to do things, like everybody else, like going to school, eating your vegetables, going to college, having a job, a girlfriend or boyfriend, then getting married. Then we're supposed to have kids and we end up teaching them the same we learned: absolutely nothing.
I'm a mediocre engineering student who decided to drop out for a year and traveled across South America. I traveled since April 4th til December 31st, in 2012. It was, by far, the time of my life, and I'm not going to start with any details, yet, I'm going to share with you what happened after 321 days traveling.
As soon as I came back home, full of fresh histories and anecdotes, a new found love for writing, a backpack and a journal full of memories, I started to notice things, I realized I was going to change once again, this time, to adapt. I found myself trapped in the eye of expectations and memories, old behaviors, dogmas and doctrines.
I didn't have a place to live (nor I had any means to rent a place of my own), so I had to move in with my mom and sisters. I'm not going to go into any details, so long history short, I decided to move out after two months, but yeah, you're guessing right, despise all the time away some things never change and it wasn't the right place for me at the time, because when you're feeling genuinely happy, you cherish it, so anything that can jeopardize it becomes something that haunts you. I didn't want to take any responsibility for other people's feelings, even if they were my family.
I think traveling did that to me; I will someday die and at the end of the day it's about my future and my dreams. Am I being selfish for thinking like this? Déjà-vu.

I decided I'm going to travel. Again. This time, I'm going to write about it.
Welcome to my blog.